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The Way
Children See Things!
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman
in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was
reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the
back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped
his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out
with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the
toilet a few days ago.
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her
struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the
phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added,
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels
and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs,
unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions,
she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth
fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad
donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why
not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my
time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let
me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up
the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed
in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have
you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's
voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
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Jokes from the kids!
1.
How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2.. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko..
11. What Do You Get >From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk..
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14.. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you
SMILE